Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The political science of global warming continues

Today I see that global warming is being used as a reason for us to stop sun-bathing and start pulling down our homes. The latter is, apparently, a requirement of signing the Kyoto Protocol. When politicians and scientists get together, we have political science:

Case 1 - skin cancer will increase three fold over the next 30 years, experts predict. Why, because of global warming and the fact that more people will go to sunny seasides for their holidays and burn themselves in the process. As I have said before, the first premise is unproven. The second "fact" simply requires education and it will be eradicated! If you have fair skin, take more precautions and tan carefully rather than not at all. Meanwhile, I'm off to the beach.

Case 2 - Eighty-thousand houses need to be demolished yearly for the next decade if the UK is to meet its climate change commitments, research suggests. This is because these old houses are energy inefficient and contribute too much CO2 to the atmosphere, directly or indirectly. So, we bring in the bulldozers, scrape them off and replace them with new structures. We won't, of course, add any greenhouse gases to the atmosphere while doing all this, even though bulldozers use fossil fuel and cement plants burn energy, because the Kyoto Protocol says this is all right. Lord Whitty, a government minister and scientist, declared "Climate change is a present and serious problem that needs to be tackled. And what better place to start with than our homes." And while 800,000 homes are being demolished, no doubt the families who lived in them will sit around an open fire at night, enjoying the view of the stars shining through the ozone layer. Little Johnny will ask his Dad "Why are we doing this?" and his Dad will say "I haven't the foggiest idea, go get another floorboard and put it on the fire."


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